Wednesday, August 1, 2007

AQI leader meets cartoon violence ending

While the deaths of any members of a child-beheading death cult are to be regretted, this recent press release from Multi-National Forces Iraq is darkly amusing. You have to imagine this sequence of events animated by Chuck Jones and set to a minimalist Carl Stalling score:

The top target for al Qaeda in Iraq south of Baghdad was killed July 14 in Arab Jabour by precision-guided munitions, the Excalibur.

Shortly after 12 p.m., 1st Battalion, 30th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, received a call that Abu Jurah and 14 anti-Iraqi forces were meeting at a house in Arab Jabour.

Abu Jurah was an AQI cell leader and was responsible for improvised explosive devices, vehicle-borne IED and indirect fire attacks on Coalition Forces in Arab Jabour.

At approximately 1:12 p.m., the house was positively identified allowing 1st Battalion, 9th Field Artillery Regiment to fire two Excalibur rounds destroying the meeting house.

An unmanned aerial vehicle observed persons leaving the house, loading injured individuals into a sedan and fleeing the scene.

An AH-64 Apache helicopter engaged the sedan destroying it.
Three people were observed running from the meeting house to a nearby house.

A U.S. Air Force F16 Fighting Falcon dropped two 500-pound GPS-guided bombs on the second house.

If there were any survivors they would probably have finished them off with a giant anvil.

Maybe the guys at MNF-I should lighten up a bit and start adding some colour to those press releases. That's all folks!


Anonymous said...

Mike, you do know that we (the USAF) have an inert air-dropped bomb - that is, same casing as a 500lb., 1000lb., and so on, but filled with poured concrete? They're in use, usually for dense neighborhoods to avoid collateral casualties. Those are very close to your anvil!!!
R.B. Phillips

Anonymous said...

Can someone explain how the excellent USAF can drop two massive Excalibur rounds on this house full of bad people and so many people ninetheless emerge trying to escape, albeit to be picked off ruthlessly afterwards? Are these amazingly expensive individual attacks designed to minimise local collateral damage?

James said...

The Air Force doesn't drop Excaliburs, the Army shoots them out of cannons, they are guided artillery rounds. They aren't "massive" by military standards at all. Yes, they are used to minimize collateral damage although they are designed simply to be more accurate which serves the same purpose.

James said...

Okay, the link gets cut off - just google 'excalibur munition' and it should come up the top link.

Earl said...

Hey, Mike--

Greetings from the Southern U.S. Found your blog via a link on the WSJ page, and I must say, your account of that attack was hilarious. Who says there's no good news out of this war?

Anonymous said...

My girls sleep well tonight in the heartland. God bless those brave people who provide that comfort.

Joe said...

As I was reading your post, I could almost hear the cartoonish "KLINK" sound! Very Funny! You've just been added to My Favorites!