British scientists have come up with a great way of shutting down the debate on global warming for a few years – they say it's stopped for the time being, but will start again in 2010.
A major problem for the warming alarmists is that since 1998, when the global average temperature reached 14.54C (the highest figure since accurate records began, although of course it has been much higher in the past), temperatures have stubbornly refused to exceed that level; this is in spite of CO2 emissions continuing to increase – and as we all know, increased emissions are supposed to mean more warming.
Now researchers at the UK's Met Office – which famously has difficulty predicting the weather for next week, never mind next decade – are claiming that temperatures will remain stable until 2010, after which they'll rocket upwards. And how do they know this? Why, they created a computer model of course!
Undeterred by recent studies discrediting climate modeling, the Met Office scientists used "powerful computer simulations" (does anyone use feeble computer simulations?) to create "the world's first global warming forecast". So these guys were believers to start with, and, as has been well-documented, you can make a computer model show pretty much anything you want it to if you put the right data in, so if they set out to forecast global warming, it's no surprise that they found it.
According to the report, the scientists predict that "temperatures will stall because of natural climate effects that have seen the Southern Ocean and tropical Pacific cool over the past couple of years". After 2010 they will begin to rise steadily, and after 2014 they'll increase more rapidly.
So this allows at least three or four years for the alarmists to pedal their wares; for governments to levy taxes on travel and all manner of other things "for the sake of the planet"; and for businesses to push us towards buying more expensive 'eco-friendly' products. And if anyone points out that temperatures aren't actually rising they can say: "We know that, but they will."
For anyone who still thinks the science is 'settled', here's a video of some real scientists, as opposed to weathermen, working with actual evidence, as opposed to computer predictions:
Update: This just in from Tim Blair – Nasa has been checking its figures, and has revealed that the hottest year on record is not, in fact, 1998 but 1934. Yet another setback for the alarmists. All bets are off!